instead of funeral why can’t it be called life graduation
drinking doesnt make you cool
not drinking doesnt make you cool either
you know what makes you cool
having sex with me lets focus on that
why wasn’t i born smart, thin, pretty, tall, or talented.
my theater teacher has this hanging above his desk
- Sext: I kiss you deeply as I lay you back gently on the bed, my hands roaming up your thighs, palms are sweaty, knees weak arms spaghetti
an epic trilogy
so is that how you do that
Dancing! It is a primal art form, used in ancient times, to express yourself with the body and communicate!
so i called the nearby starbucks to see if they were open because my dad wasn’t sure and wanted me to ask so i asked them in gollum’s voice “HELLO IS PRECIOUS OPEN TODAY?”
and the guy on the other line replied with “YES PRECIOUS IS OPEN TODAY UNTIL 3 MY PRECIOUS YESSSSSSSS”
I FUCKING FLIPPED OUT AND I WAS LAUGHING AND SOBBING
AND THE GUY ON THE OTHER LINE ASKED “IS PRECIOUS OKAY”
I HOPE YOU MARRIED HIM